dreor

Moving to:

Hey guys. I've made the decision, after 8 years and a lot of hemming and hawing, to change my dA account. I didn't want to do it, wanted to keep this account for how hard I've worked on building my rep through it and a history of activity.

But, well, I finally bucked up and made the change. I'd complained for years about how I wished I hadn't chosen "dreor" as my username, but did not want to give up the account's years and years of activity and the following I'd worked to build. Unfortunately, sometimes it's just necessary to face the cons over the pros.

Switching accounts to kerosenekate will afford me a consistent online identity. I've been using Kerosene Kate as an online moniker for a few years now. I have a domain name registered as such, my art blog is under that name, and I use it as a username for most things these days.

There is also the benefit of having my actual name included in the username while also giving it a unique and distinguishable spin. As an artist in the real world, not just online, having a name as common as Kate means it's easy to get lost in the swarm of people that occupy my world, but using my real name is important when networking and speaking with potential employers. Kerosene Kate suits me for its alliteration, the slightly "old west" feel (nostalgic Texan here, y'all), and for the personal meaning kerosene carries for me.

Anyway...

I'll be moving many pieces to kerosenekate from the existing gallery at dreor, but some won't be coming along for the ride. I will be doing a piece a day for a couple weeks, I think. If you don't want to see those images resubmitted and appearing in your dA inbox, you can select to +watch kerosenekate but not to watch deviations or scrap submissions. I will make another journal entry from kerosenekate when I'm done migrating my gallery so you know to change your watch settings for kerosenekate to notify your message center of new deviations. Thanks for your patience about this...

I intend to submit to kerosenekate a lot more than I did to dreor, but much of it will be in "sketchdumps", compilations of sketches, half-finished images, warm-up drawings, or things that I just don't consider worth calling their own finished piece. However, I will also submit things on their own more as well as a means of encouraging myself not to be so finicky. I will also be submitting various configurations of my mixed media work, whether as photographs of my finished 3-dimensional pieces or as 2-dimensional imagery.

I may make more work available as prints too, after I do some research. If there are works I have done that you think you would like to see available as prints, please let me know at kerosenekate in journal comments! Also let me know what kind of price range you think you'd pay for such prints and if you would buy from a 3rd party website or prefer to purchase through deviantART. This will really help me decide if it's a worthwhile endeavor.

dreor will be kept alive only to redirect people to the new account. I may likely deactivate it in a year or so, after I've ensured that all links to it have been changed wherever possible and my followers have had ample time to follow me at kerosenekate.

Thank you for re-watching me, y'all. I really appreciate it!

Looking for people to commission for good art? Try these people!
- Gorgeous art and is currently desperately in need of money. Affordable prices! Please at least see her journal and spread the word if you have a minute.
- Very clean, quick, and talented! Recently moved to a new city and is still looking for work and starting to feel desperate about the jobhunt, so the income from commissions is helpful.
- Great artist capable of lovely painting, quirky character style, and more. College students always need money!


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"Love or Care: A letter of what is left..."

I find myself pondering what measure of care to give something that does not have my heart...

To explain...I have lately had less and less motivation to remain interested in deviantART. I don't think this means that I no longer like it. It merely means that I have changed.

When I first started here, I had just begun my junior year of high school. I was introduced to the website by someone I talked to during what was basically our school's equivalent of a weekly "study hall" -- during which most students just goofed off and waited for it to be over, but some would get stuff done. I was initially fairly intimidated by deviantART. By its massive size and activity, by the wealth of talent. I gradually got my feet wet, and soon I was merrily interacting with growing confidence.

By the time I graduated high school, I had made friends among deviantART members. Some such relationships have lasted me all these years, are precious and life-affecting. Some have faded with time as we simply grew into different people and went amiably on our way. Some have ended with dispute or unease, though I hold no ill will and I hope they are well. I have encountered unpleasant types aplenty too, of course, and there are two or three people on my "banned" members list, I admit, which I find unpleasant but in life sometimes you must cut out the people who sour your life and I am sure there have been those in my lifetime to say the same of me! Heh.

I have learned a great deal from the people and opportunities explored at this website. Artistically, morally, academically...and simply in moving through life. I have watched good artists become powerhouses of esteem by the community, and good artists depart for policy disagreements, and good artists simply remain half-known or little-known and content to be so. Bless them all. I have learned my own progress as well, and continue to do so daily.

deviantART has been resource, community, social and professional network, advertisement agency, learning platform, inspiration, motivator to press on in my own art, and so much more for me. I have enjoyed making effort to be a good and supportive person, to broaden my horizons and others' when the chance was presented.

I write this merely as observation, not as farewell. Because I do not see any sense in "leaving" or "quitting" deviantART. What would that accomplish but to alienate myself from a large user base of people I have been lucky to know as good 99% of the time, despite our many human faults.

I am attempting to better myself artistically and professionally in the hopes of eventually finding a satisfactory pace of work so as to offer commissions more readily outside of the kind flow of friends and close-peers I have benefited from. If I manage this, I should like to eventually offer such commissions for sale here too, and so it would be to my advantage if I remained active here so as to generate a good user base.

And there is Aboideau, the project I work on with my darling best friend, Tam (lupinsansei), at all times. We hope to eventually turn it into a sort of comic, and it would be lovely to bring it readership from deviantART when/if that happens, of course, so again that is reason to remain active here.

But I find it difficult. I have never been one of the "popular" artists, which mostly I am grateful for since I feel I could not live up to the expectation but also sometimes I am envious of...because we all feel envy, I suppose, even when we know our shortcomings are things only we may improve upon. But I have been blessed with a fairly regular activity log in terms of the comments, +favorites, and +watches I have received from other users. I have always endeavored to do my best to thank each and every person for such attention, individually, even if it often takes me 3 months or more to get around to it. I feel it is the least I can do.

I have watched many lovely artists for a long time as well, but over time I have become more and more of a lurker-watcher. I hold my tongue and let others comment and fav while I merely watch and appreciate, because I feel that if I am going to say something about an artwork, I want it to be truly heartfelt and well-thought and meaningful. Often, when I look at an artwork I love, I know my gut reaction, but I am hard put to leave text to that effect. I would rather be able to sit down with an artist, to talk to them about their piece and discuss its merits and critical points, formally, philosophically, emotionally... Or at least, if I must do it electronically, do it in a more intimate setting such as private correspondence.

Over the last year or two, my submission of artwork has waned as well. My production of it has not, however. Rather, I have found that I enjoy the blog format and setting more appealing, more personally endearing, as I have gradually changed as a person. Sharing my artwork in a more customized setting simply is comfortable to me and, I think, makes me feel I am maintaining fidelity to my artwork a little more personally. Artistically, I am aware of a strong need for direction and refinement on my part. I have toyed with it like a hobbyist for far too long and need to become more dedicated. While others are capable, I am not so good at doing this in a highly public setting. I am one who needs to take care of my self-education and improvement alone and then return to offer what I have accomplished to a public later, else I let my need to please overwhelm my ability to focus.

In any case, I have become less and less active here with time. I am 22 now and in October I will be 23. My life is something of a mess, I admit, and though I have grown a lot I have a lot left to do before I can say I am grown up. I am no young high school junior any longer, at once overwhelmed, impressed, and intimidated by the novelty of an art community website which caters to millions and millions of user accounts (let's face it, the actual membership is probably a vastly different number) though I certainly appreciate it for what it is.

There are things I disagree with, and things I laud as well managed when all the factors are considered, and things I simply cannot have an opinion on because I do not know so much. But all in all, the site is good, and I have enjoyed it.

But I think, for me, it has run a course. Like those friendships which ended simply because we grew different and apart and failed to continue holding communication...I have lost my eager interactive spirit with deviantART. I am changed, and perhaps eventually I shall change again and find I can be highly active and enjoy it at this site once more.

But for now I suppose this is my letter of disaffection. That I still like you, deviantART, but we are no longer in love. I shall remain with you, and visit you, and occasionally I shall speak among you, but do not be surprised if I am largely silent and half-ghost in your halls.

So here you have it. I will likely only submit an artwork here if I feel a deep and unrelenting NEED to share it. I will likely no longer respond to comments unless they ask specific questions, nor will I be individually thanking each and every favorite and +watch I receive, much as I appreciate them as greatly as ever and always. I simply need to take care of things differently for a while, and that means not holding myself responsible for every set of eyes to wander across my art.

I do this with no resentment or discontent, only a deep breath and a passive release.

I hope that, in time, if I am able to return to you with greater force and a stronger art to show for my silence, you will welcome me again and perhaps I shall be able to build a relationship of greater value with you then.

I am here, I am not gone, but I am not as I was. Thank you, dear viewers.

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For art and its blather, feel free to visit:
Kate's Art Blog -- Where I post art from crap sketches to WIPs to finished pieces and all sorts of nonsense in between, as well as notes on intent, process, meaning, and the always learning curve of being an artist...
Aboidoodles -- Where I post art often never seen anywhere else, by myself, my co-creator Tam, and by other artists. All artwork and information is related to Aboideau, a project by myself and Tam (lupinsansei)...

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Partner in Crime!:

2/3 of the Hivemind:

My Lovies:

(and others not of dA-land)

THE PRIVATE EXCHANGE ( )
Captain --> -- also feel free to check out the About PE page, or see the new-and-still-in-progress collection of Private Exchange artwork here at dA on or to see who else is currently a member!

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What's Kate listening to?
I like good music, you should too. Check out my eclecticism and build your own at Last.FM!

Here's a quick update on things at the moment!

1) dA's "subscription aggression" seems to have eased off. At least, enough that it's not constantly pissing me off as stated in that previous journal entry. Hoorah for that.

2) I just deleted probably nearly 100 things from my gallery and scraps. Most of them were from 2003 or 2004, but there were some others that I nixed as well. It was just time. They were old and no longer represented my skills or tendencies as an artist. Some if it was gift art for Mel or Ren or Brianne or my sis. I doubt you do, but if you guys want copies I have them somewhere.

3) Spring semester for the year at college is over. I've decided to take summer courses this time around though, so I'll be back in classes again on the 22nd.

4) I have so much crap to do!


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Partner in Crime!:

2/3 of the Hivemind:

My Lovies:

(and others not of dA-land)

THE PRIVATE EXCHANGE ( )
Captain --> -- go to her journal to see a list of who is in PE currently, check out the About PE page, or see the new-and-still-in-progress collection of Private Exchange artwork here at dA on .

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What's Kate listening to?
I like good music, you should too. Check out my eclecticism and build your own at Last.FM!

deviantART, I love you. I have stuck with you for years and years now, through fiasco and scandal and outright moments of stupidity. I try to be a good member of the community in my own small and insignificant-to-you ways, and I try to be the devil's advocate when everyone is screaming your faults.

But if you don't fucking stop it with the overly aggressive campaign to make me pay for a subscription, I'm going to have to quit you.

If you can't handle free users, stop allowing them to register in such numbers. Or delete dead accounts. If you want me to stick around long enough to pay for a subscription when I can afford one, stop fucking harassing me. Two or three or four messages a day about how I should buy a sub is going too far. Hell, twice a WEEK is going too far.

And now this latest message, the one about me having 100 deviations is wearing out the gerbil running my page, so I should buy a sub? That's very misleading bullshit. People who don't know better are going to think this means that if they don't buy a sub, you're not going to let them display their art when the number exceeds 100. Which is NOT true. It's just you getting desperate.

If you really need the money, here's a few ideas... Offer better perks for subscribers, ones that people will actually go "omg, I totally want to be able to do that" over. Or find a way to make it more affordable for people to get subs. Or, you know, stop reaching beyond your means on a constant basis.

If I had the money, I would get a sub just to fucking shut you up about it. But since I don't, and you're not likely to ever see this, and there's certainly no option to say "stop harassing me about getting a sub" to make the obnoxiousness stop, I'll probably just end up leaving instead. Seriously, if I didn't get a sub yesterday when you harassed me about it three times, why would I get one today when you harass me about it four times? That's completely unreasonable. You've become the kid in the back seat whining, "Are we there yet?" every five minutes as if that's going to change the answer by sheer force of will. IT'S NOT. If we get there, we will fucking get there when we get there. If you don't shut up, I will pull over and kick you out of my car and go the hell where I want WITHOUT YOU.

It's really not okay. It's a serious degradation of your quality as a fabulous art community website. It's what we call SPAM. And everyone knows how we feel about spam.

Note to watchers: No, I am not leaving. Not yet. But I may if this continues much longer. Please do not start the "noooo, don't leeeeave" thing with me. I would not do it to you. It is each of our choices, and I certainly would not like to, but there's some things I just can't tolerate. And if they can't behave, there are other websites out there that can give me what I need just as easily and less annoyingly. Should I choose to leave, I will leave a forwarding address, of course. I realize the rest of the internet isn't nearly so convenient for you as viewers, but art shouldn't be about mere convenience anyway. I appreciate each and every one of you and your generous attention, regardless.

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Partner in Crime!:

2/3 of the Hivemind:

My Lovies:

(and others not of dA-land)

THE PRIVATE EXCHANGE ( )
Captain --> -- go to her journal to see a list of who is in PE currently, check out the About PE page, or see the new-and-still-in-progress collection of Private Exchange artwork here at dA on .

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What's Kate listening to?
I like good music, you should too. Check out my eclecticism and build your own at Last.FM!